Update... back to the rat race.

So just to give you all an update on what is going on with me. I have decided to stay in Spokane, and get a job. It has taken me awhile to get to the point where I am okay with sitting still and waiting for the next step. This is actually an incredibly hard thing for me to do, as I am a very restless guy. So pray for me that i have paitence and contentment as I wait for however long it will be until God tells me to move forward. It is definately an unfamiliar place as I have no experience really don't have any type of experience outside of the missionary field.
If you have any questions or comments email me on facebook or my email. derek.deniston@gmail.com
Thanks all and God bless
Derek

What's next?

So the big question... what is my next step?

Well I'll be completely honest... I don't know what is next. Right now, I am waiting for God to speak until he has said exactly what I am doing , where I am going or how long I am supposed to wait.
I am taking a stance of listening and waiting, in this time, I have decided to (try)and get a job.
Even thinking of jumping back into the rat race is weird for me. I am sitting a coffee shop and the lady asked what I wanted and I looked at the board and my head almost exploded.

So yes that is what I am doing now, if anyone has any questions or comments it would be great to hear from you.
Thanks for every one's support.
Derek

Love Vs. Passion

As most of you know, I am back in Spokane. For how long I have no clue.
For the past few years I have been struggling with finding my passion and finding what I am good at, what Jesus wants me to do. I feel like I've bounced around, jumping from thing to thing, Children , Discipleship training schools, all over Africa, and in Asia, waiting for this big gong to go off in my relationship with Him and I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was what I was supposed to be doing.
All along loving God and doing these things for his glory.
The definition of love is :a

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

profoundly tender, passionate affection for an
Key word in that being passionate.
I don't know exactly what I am writing here but for me, I feel like there has been a disconnect between love and passion for me.

I having been loving Jesus, but not been viewing it as a passion. What if that is all He wants. What if that and that only is what He wants from me.
i
Its not about what I am do, what country I am in, or what the next step is.

I feel like one of the problem i have identified within myself is that, I am never in the "now". I am always in a different tense.
So for now the only tense i will be in, the only position i will be in, the only place I will be in...
Will be chasing the one who makes all the rest of life possible. He is my passion.

My Struggle in Song

I know its a little clach'e to use someone else's words to verbablize how you feel. God showed me this song the other day and it hit me straight in the face. What I am chasing what I am doing. Live life for Him. I realized I was holding back myself by my own selfishness. Anyways, fantastic song fantastic group if you haven't heard them. Be Blessed

My struggle in a song : Garden by Needtobreathe


Wont you take this scar from me
cuz fear has stolen all my sleep
if tomorrow means my death
I pray you'll save their souls with it

let the songs i sign bring joy to you
let the words i say profess my love
let the notes i chose be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you

in this hour of time i see
who i am is not just me
give me strength to die myself,
so love can live to tell the tale

let the songs i sign bring joy to you
let the words i say profess my love
let the notes i chose be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you

Father let my heart be after you
in everything I do

let the songs i sign bring joy to you
let the words i say profess my love
let the notes i chose be your favorite tune
father let my heart be after you

Dreaming for Derek (my wake up call)

We have had many speakers in the DTS so far, and all have been very good. Last we had a speaker come in called Frans Conje. He talked about our dreams and passions.
When I started staffing this DTS, I was really crying out to God to redefine my dreams, my passions and what He wanted me to do. Frans came in and only spoke for three mornings, and opened up a can of worms for me. Next steps, new ideas, what passions aren't mine, and what I want to do. So God has been speaking to me about the future and making it mine and pursue MY dreams.

Frans in his 30's decided he wanted to be a director. He had been working with sports ministry for along time, and than God gave Him something totally out of the box. He directed the movie "faith like potatoes" and the movie "Hansie" (which was his brother). But he did this all without any idea what he was doing at first, God just told him to do it and He created great movies. I feel like it was encouragement for me to think outside the box and do what I want to do. That with God passions aren't impossible, if i wanted to be a president (not saying I want to be) but with God I could do that.

Anyways, just an update on what I have been learning and what He has been speaking to me this last week.

DTS outreach

Today, we announced the outreaches for this DTS. Man, I am so excited. We have a Trifecta of leadership on the outreach team. Me, Hayley, and Stanley will be leading this team into the Zambian Wild and the suburb's of Joburg.
This is the team(front to back) Lennon, Leonard, Shayla, Mongo, Pinkie, Lizzy, Manuel, Marcella, Laney, Breanna, Brittany, Kelly, Rebekkah, Kacy, Michael.

Today, we announced the outreaches for this DTS. Man, I am so excited. We have a Trifecta of leadership on the outreach team. Me, Hayley, and Stanley will be leading this team into the Zambian Wild and the suburb's of Joburg.

These Students are amazing! 10 girls and 5 guy students. Keep us in your prayers as we start to develop as a team and for the planning of this outreach.

Starting fresh and New

My third time returning to Africa has been by far the best. I am now staffing a DTS here at YWAM kruger, and am loving it. It has really turned into my home and the people here are my family. Everyday is alittle bit better than the next and I thank God that He is so good!