Update... back to the rat race.

So just to give you all an update on what is going on with me. I have decided to stay in Spokane, and get a job. It has taken me awhile to get to the point where I am okay with sitting still and waiting for the next step. This is actually an incredibly hard thing for me to do, as I am a very restless guy. So pray for me that i have paitence and contentment as I wait for however long it will be until God tells me to move forward. It is definately an unfamiliar place as I have no experience really don't have any type of experience outside of the missionary field.
If you have any questions or comments email me on facebook or my email. derek.deniston@gmail.com
Thanks all and God bless
Derek

What's next?

So the big question... what is my next step?

Well I'll be completely honest... I don't know what is next. Right now, I am waiting for God to speak until he has said exactly what I am doing , where I am going or how long I am supposed to wait.
I am taking a stance of listening and waiting, in this time, I have decided to (try)and get a job.
Even thinking of jumping back into the rat race is weird for me. I am sitting a coffee shop and the lady asked what I wanted and I looked at the board and my head almost exploded.

So yes that is what I am doing now, if anyone has any questions or comments it would be great to hear from you.
Thanks for every one's support.
Derek

Love Vs. Passion

As most of you know, I am back in Spokane. For how long I have no clue.
For the past few years I have been struggling with finding my passion and finding what I am good at, what Jesus wants me to do. I feel like I've bounced around, jumping from thing to thing, Children , Discipleship training schools, all over Africa, and in Asia, waiting for this big gong to go off in my relationship with Him and I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was what I was supposed to be doing.
All along loving God and doing these things for his glory.
The definition of love is :a

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

profoundly tender, passionate affection for an
Key word in that being passionate.
I don't know exactly what I am writing here but for me, I feel like there has been a disconnect between love and passion for me.

I having been loving Jesus, but not been viewing it as a passion. What if that is all He wants. What if that and that only is what He wants from me.
i
Its not about what I am do, what country I am in, or what the next step is.

I feel like one of the problem i have identified within myself is that, I am never in the "now". I am always in a different tense.
So for now the only tense i will be in, the only position i will be in, the only place I will be in...
Will be chasing the one who makes all the rest of life possible. He is my passion.